MY STORY

My life’s journey began in 2002.

My wife, our three children, the dog and myself drove from upstate New York to a remote town way up in the mountains of Colorado. A picturesque landscape of snow-capped mountains, blue skies and clean air. The views were breathtaking and so was the high altitude. At 8300 feet above sea level, it literally took your breath away, no joke. It required a slower pace of life, otherwise you would physically need to stop and catch your breath.

 

Our move was predicated by a desire for change, away from the familiar and the hustle and bustle of life. We were looking for something different and more meaningful. We were looking for our purpose in life and boy did we find it; although, not in the way we had imagined.

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We came with our own thoughts and ideals....

about unifying a community of faith, developing deep relationships and being an advocate for those in need. Based on our own history and experience, my family and I felt as though we could contribute right away, which left us hopeful we were on the right track. However, we became the students and not the teachers. The roles were reversed, and it was time for us to learn, more specifically, it was time for me to learn. As a leader, business owner, and visionary, I was under the impression people could learn from me. Ha! The joke was on me.

 

The people in the local community were mostly transplants from other states and countries. Weaved amongst them were the local ranchers and generational families. A vast array of individuals that made for a very interesting place to live. To my surprise, I began to feel very unsettled after a few years. What I came to do wasn’t working. I came to find my purpose in life, but as far as I was concerned, it was alluding me or I had totally missed it. I thought to myself, “Did I make a mistake moving my family here?” Everyday became more of a struggle, and everyday created more questions than answers. Frustration was on the menu every single day and I ate it like it was my last meal.

 

WHEN I THOUGHT IT COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE!

Along with my daily diet of frustration was stress, accompanied with hypertension, which in turn required medication. And for dessert, the cherry on top was depression with a heavy sprinkle of anxiety. I was a mess. Nothing made sense anymore and I had no idea who I was. Come to find out, neither did a lot of those transplants that came to the valley looking for the same thing. All in search of something, searching for their purpose. So, you can imagine what kind of picture that paints in your mind. We did develop relationships with others in the community, and found we shared a lot of the same feelings. We all had disappointments, regrets, angst from the past, and the desire to get away from it all and start afresh. But nothing was working.

 

I had viewed the community as misfits; people who did not fit into mainstream society, for whatever reason, and they all congregated in this one small town. Their escape was to find a rural place somewhere to get away from it all. Ultimately, they were running away from themselves, at least they were trying too. I guess I was feeling the same way to. I guess I was the next misfit. What was the problem? I didn’t realize it at the time, but the problem all along was me. Sadly, I pointed my finger at everyone and everything in my life but was never willing to address the real issue. I had a fight on my hands and it was within myself. Don’t get me wrong, I contended with many external frustrations as well, which of course fueled my fire even more. But I later came to realize that even those things were a direct assault against who I was to become. My pursuit of my purpose continued on.

 

After seven years, we left that valley.

I was still a mess and still trying to figure out my life. Frankly, when I returned home, I was worse, especially when returning to familiar territory. “Square peg in a round hole” was the comment I frequently used, and, yet again, I began to question myself. “Had we left too soon? Should we have gone out there to begin with?” Again, I was looking at everything and everyone else but myself. I quickly realized that home looked different, it wasn’t the same. The people were, but I had changed, I felt different. We eventually had to move on from the familiar, find our own pathway and new relationships. But the same thoughts and feelings would plague my mind; What is my purpose? What am I doing with my life?

 

Change must come to all of us if we want the best for our lives and for our family. It has a price attached to it and not everyone is willing to pay it. The struggle was real as I battled my innermost conflicts; abandonment, failure, identity, fear, anxiety, pride, depression and so on. The fight was on. I made a decision to become the best version of me the world has ever seen. This decision had come through several difficult seasons, ultimately leading me to get help.  Ultimately to find my purpose in life.

 

My four step pathway to success

• Heart: Making myself available to coaches, whom I gave permission to speak into my life.

• Mind: Spending quality time with a therapist.

• Soul: Time spent in prayer, meditation and reflection.

• Body: Diet and exercise.

 

Am I completely healed from it all? Absolutely not. It’s a life long journey of self-awareness, accountability, responsibility and making those subtle changes every day. I had to make a decision and that decision changed my life forever.

 

Help is just around the corner if you are willing to extend your hand.

I am better than I was, I know who I am, I know what I want in life, I know where I’m going.

And ultimately, I KNOW MY PURPOSE.

 

HOW ABOUT YOU?